So awkward, but come on it says right there on the package to wash those mushrooms or whatever it is… You’re not their mom but you don’t wanna eat feces or whatever ended up on the produce. A quick rinse is never going to be perfect but it’s better than nothing.
In the absence of legitimate suggestions, commiseration is welcome too 😉
Stick a carrot up your ass and put it back in the bunch.
“I’ve had sand on my vegetables before. Can I wash them?”
I’ve found sand in salad multiple times. Not washing greens are weird.
There are a lot of people who think, largely due to misinformed cooking shows, that you shouldn’t wash mushrooms, just wipe them off.
If you want them washed, maybe say “Hey, I can help out by washing those for you.”
As far as I’ve found, they’re both right. You shouldn’t have to wash your mushrooms, but it’s not a bad idea if you’re not buying fancy mushrooms.
The generic button mushroom variants you’re probably getting at the grocery store are grown in compost, which often contains some manure - ie poops.
But before growing mushrooms it’s pasteurized. Mycelium is picky, and fairly easily out-competed by other stuff, so to make sure you’re just growing mushrooms and not bacteria you basically have to sterilize the medium they’re grown in.
But those mushrooms are often grown in open beds, and harvested by hand. And that means they get that poop dirt right up on them. Will it immediately give you super botulism? Probably not but it’s still kinda ick.
Fancier mushroom varieties from smaller cultivars are the ones that actually don’t really need washed and often shouldn’t be. They’re grown in highly sterile environments and they fruit out of a container, so they never touched the poop. And that’s if they even used compost - lots use straw or wood.
If you do decide to wash your button mushrooms it’s not a big deal, they aren’t actually sponges, and they don’t absorb as much water as some cooking shows say. If they get soggy it probably means they’re old, try putting them in the fridge for a few hours uncovered. It’s basically a dehydrator.
Not only should you wash them, you should also start a sautee with a couple tablespoons of water, then add fats later.
Obligatory Adam Ragusea video for this topic
If you add the fat first, the mushrooms are going to release so much liquid that you just have to boil that off anyway.
Running mushrooms under water makes them soggy, that’s just reality. You can get them just as clean wiping them with a slightly damp paper towel or cloth without that happening.
From Serious Eats:
First off, it’s true: mushrooms do absorb water when you wash them, but it’s only about 2% of their total weight, or, translated to volume, that’s about 1 1/2 teaspoons of water per pound, which in turn translates to an extra 15 to 30 seconds of cooking time.
“Soggy” is an exaggeration.
It’s not about the absorption. They get soggy/slimy if you don’t immediately cook them
I think you’re about to cook them.
Been washing all kinds of mushrooms for years and I‘ve had the opposite experience. They’re only soggy if they’ve been cooking in oil, soaked it up, then dumped all their water. They don’t get brown as they soak up the oil, and then they dump it all out with the water, meaning you’re just steaming them until you evaporate off all the water.
Best is to wash the mushrooms, slice, cook in a little bit of water until they dump out their water, cook until the water has evaporated, then add oil and brown (or even crisp if you desire).
Perfect mushrooms every time (I’ve dated a lot of vegans so I’ve eaten mushrooms every few days for over a decade).
This assumes you’re going to fry them. If you want raw mushrooms in a salad, it’s going to be a lot more noticeable.
Raw mushrooms are borderline wasteful to eat. We can’t digest the chitin and cell walls so most of the nutritional value passes straight through.
It’s okay to be direct a little bit.
“You don’t wash the mushrooms? It says on the package, man, they might have poop or pesticide or whatever else.”
“Okay, well if I’m gonna be eating them can I wash them? I’ll make 'em up, man, I’m not telling you what to do. But I don’t wanna eat anything that’s on them that might be bad for me. I would prefer not to at least.”
I don’t know, you can adapt the language, or stay away from the whole conversation if it really feels wrong. But usually if there’s an issue it’s better to say what the issue is even if it’s a little uncomfortable. You’re not making a problem or starting a confrontation, it’s just saying what’s on your mind and sharing. Otherwise you don’t really have friends and allies, just sort of alien people you’re going through the motions with while you each harbor your own little secret thoughts all through the evening.
“You don’t wash the mushrooms? It says on the package, man, they might have poop or pesticide or whatever else.”
When we make something about the other person, telling them that they are wrong and, in this case, even disgusting, they are going to get offended and be less amendable to seeing your side and helping you out. They may get shamed into doing it, but I think this damages the relationship.
Just make it about yourself
“Hey, Im a bit squeamish about unwashed veggies. Do you mind if I rinse them for you?”
Gets the same point across, but makes it about yourself rather than the other person, so they have no reason to be defensive. They will also be more likely to open up to changing.
“Do you mind if I wash these? I’m allergic to pesticides, even in trace amounts.”
No need to fabricate some lie, as that might backfire at some point.
“Hey I would be more comfortable if the vegetables were washed. Do you mind if I wash them?”
Or just offer to help and start washing them.
The important thing is to not make it about them, but about you. Most people don’t get offended when you make it all about yourself, and not them doing something wrong.
Just offer to wash the vegetables, who says no to that?
Throw up on their vegetables. That wont come as rude, and certainly you wont have the problem of eating with them again in the future
