Please don’t ask why I need this.

It would be great if the food also made me sweat less.

It has to be something I can easily find.

EDITS FOR CLARIFICATION:

  • I am not planning on partaking in any illegal activities.

  • I do not condone the use of illegal substances and am not planning on smuggling anything anywhere.

  • I am not going on a hiking trip or mailing myself anywhere.

  • I will be staying in a tent (not a small one; a huge with with air conditioning and everything). I will be traveling for five days, returning to my current location on day 3 and traveling again on the last two days. I will not poop on the first three days (hopefully).

  • Clean toilets with all the expected facilities will be available to me. I am not going to poop for reasons that I wish to keep to myself.

  • If it gets bad, like really bad, like a-piece-of-poop-is-literally-halfway-out-my-ass bad, I will use the toilets.

Please stop asking because I am not telling anyone the reason.

  • GratefullyGodless@lemmy.worldEnglish
    90·
    1 year ago

    I was worried that lemmy wouldn’t reach the pinnacle of quality to match reddit, and then this post came along to soothe those fears. Good luck on your no poop quest.

  • Match!!@pawb.socialEnglish
    771·
    1 year ago

    enjoy your sex trip and I wish you happy bottoming! if you’re not going to be doing too much physical labor during this time I recommend going full bottom mode: the week ahead of it start eating very lightly, initially a high fiber diet with added psyllium husk or metamucil. your body might be different but mine would say no dairy during this time. for the day before or even two, switch to a meatless and somewhat low fiber diet - ramen noodles is a classic, cookies, soup, other carbs. before you leave for the trip, clean out with an enema bulb (or store bought enemas if your ass is bougie or inexperienced). the combination of low fiber and low food throughput should keep you from having to poop and whatever poop is still in your tract will get largely removed by the enema.

    while you’re out at your fuck-tent, consume most of your calories from simple carbs as much as your body will handle so as to give your microbiome less to work with - applesauce is kinda nice, fruit snacks, white bread. eat like a twink!

    remember to stay hydrated!! I know you’re not trying to pee either but it’s important to hydrate even if it means suffering whatever penalty your dom is giving you when you ask to be let out to pee

  • cly@lemmy.worldEnglish
    43·
    1 year ago

    In 10 years, people are going to say “I joined Lemmy before the 3 days without pooping post”

  • Crit_D@lemmy.worldEnglish
    33·
    1 year ago

    I came to Lemmy as a substitute for Reddit, and I’m impressed at how little time it took to reach the high-quality posts that Reddit was known for.

  • Bye@lemmy.worldEnglish
    22·
    1 year ago

    So you are going to wear some kind of pants that you can’t take off easily for 3 days. Maybe some kind of medieval armor, or a fursuit.

    Gatorade has tons of calories because of the sugar, and it will leave nothing to poop out. It will give you the critical electrolytes (plants crave them) that you’re missing from food. Take a multivitamin too.

    But it doesn’t have enough calories, and you need stuff to go in your stomach so you don’t suffer being empty on your temporary Gatorade diet. eat white bread. Your body metabolizes almost all of it, so there’s almost nothing to poop out.

    You will need to poop out all your poop before doing this, so good hydration and veggies beforehand will clean you out. No need for laxatives, just switch to your new and stupid diet 36 hours before you need to stop pooping.

    Good luck on your medieval battle reënactment or orgy.

  • atwerp@feddit.nlEnglish
    16·
    1 year ago

    OP, you misunderstand the “no shitposts on lemmy” guideline, that’s not what it means

  • mizu@lemmy.worldOPEnglish
    7·
    1 year ago

    I’ve replied to quite a few people and I’m going to bed now.

    I’ll edit the posts with updates when my poopless journey ends. Either when the three-day poopless period is over (28th June) or when the whole thing is over (30 June/1 July).

    Wish me luck.

  • Roggie@lemmy.mlEnglish
    6·
    1 year ago

    first day on lemmy, and this is the shit i see right off the bat. I found my reddit replacement.

    • GreatWhiteBuffalo41@slrpnk.netEnglish
      2·
      1 year ago

      I was thinking, “is this the thing? The first thing all the reddit people get to see coming to Lemmy? Is this history???”

      But seriously, WTF

    • INeedMana@lemmy.worldEnglish
      2·
      1 year ago

      I think, the point is, that this is the shit no-one has seen. It’s still hidden inside OP. Lurking

  • SuperNerd@programming.devEnglish
    5·
    1 year ago

    NASA has a paper on how to not poop for days. It’s on the Internet. Before space toilets there was only a space bag with finger scissor/scoop holes. It didn’t work, poop got everywhere. The paper goes into detail about fecal matter being everywhere after early multi-day missions.

    So they figured it out. Their system works – I’ve also had my own reasons.

    • rekliner@lemmy.worldEnglish
      1·
      1 year ago

      super nerd, please tell me your reasons involve zero g poop.

      also hilarious that the world greatest scientists and engineers settled on “just hold it” before they figured out the poop hoover.

  • Twaffle@lemmy.worldEnglish
    5·
    1 year ago

    This thread is going to haunt me. One day, years from now while lying in bed and slowly drifting off to sleep, I’ll suddenly sit bolt upright and exclaim, “Why couldn’t that dude poop!?”