• swallowyourmind@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    Not religious, but “Steady plodding bring prosperity”.

    All my life I have watched as many of those around me struggle to stay consistent in their lives, and have worse outcomes as a result.

    Inconsistent with their savings habits.

    Inconsistent in their employment efforts.

    Inconsistent with their love lives.

    Inconsistent with taking care of themselves.

    Consistency provides a basis for better long term results. Very little success is possible in almost any endeavor without it.

    Though I’ve found it personally frustrating to remain consistent in my own life, the benefits of doing so I have found to be exponential, although late and taken for granted by others who weren’t consistent.

    Another is: “What are you willing to give up to get what you want?”

    All too many things are zero-sum, and though consumer capitalist systems often pretend “you can have it all”, you can’t.

    Honest reflection about what is most important to yourself, and what personal sacrifices are required to obtain your goal, makes the goal easier to obtain.

    Many sacrifices that are needed are clear from the offset, but by being honest and willing before the endeavour, those future sacrifices are less traumatic. Other sacrifices pop up along the way, and it’s important to re-evaluate at intervals whether your end goal is still worth it.

    For love: “Prequalify your spouse.”

    People lead with their hearts often where their heads can’t follow.

    Sure they may be attractive, or have an amazing personality, or be rich, but do you KNOW them?

    Is their fading beauty or quick wit or checking balance able to really make up for their poor treatment of others, latent racism or sexism, politics, religious adherence, stance on having children, intention in the future to care for ailing family, or poor spending habits? What about if they believe it’s appropriate to hit your future kids, or demand the kids are their religion, or can’t be gay? What if they refuse to travel or relocate? What if they don’t clean up after themselves or never take responsibility for their failings?

    It is imperative to long term relationship success that you spend enough time for both partners to actually understand each other, because there is more to long term compatibility related to shared values than there is to sexual attraction.

    Most often this advice results in people realizing they haven’t given enough thought themselves to what and why they believe is the best way to live their own lives, and where those values came from.

    I’ve got loads more, but those are a great start.