I feel like “mansplaining” has lost all meaning. It used to be about men going out of their way to correct someone that didn’t need correcting, particularly if they were wrong themselves, and most often with women. Now people use it on men just…saying things to anyone.
I get that people are touchy on the subject, and I respect anyone’s right to not want or need help. I think how Mr. Solomon handled it was correct - ask if they want your input and respect their answer. It’d just be nice if people didn’t use cultural memes to dismiss others out of hand.
We used to call these people patronizing but it got gendered for some reason
It’s funny because “patron” in “patronize” comes from “pater” which means father.
And “condescending” is also available to describe this behavior.
Yeah in my books, “Mansplaining” has never had proper meaning. It was just a way of blaming men for a particular behaviour, which is generally neutral to begin with.
Nah, it came from a very real workspace behavior where men would explain things to women when the woman would be the expert.
It’s very well studied: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/it-s-man-s-and-woman-s-world/201603/the-psychology-mansplaining
Is an interesting topic of discussion, unfortunately, they always seem to attach these things to a specific gender or race and it makes the whole thing sound childish. It’s like the concept of micro-aggressions, I like the idea of investigating the subtleties of human behaviour which can have covert but large effects, but they immediately attach it to race and racism.
Because it’s a specific subset of patronizing, where it wouldn’t have happened if the target were not a woman.
What about the other way around, what’s that called? Like I’ve had women “mansplain” cooking to me because I am a guy.
I feel like “mansplaining” has lost all meaning
Yeah, they misused the term.
Mr. Solomon handled it was correct - ask if they want your input and respect their answer.
You forgot step #3! Not whine about it online.
He offered, they declined, we didn’t need to hear about it. The only reason we heard about it is because he felt slighted, or is trying to make some anti-feminist point. I’m sad that he felt bad, but not everyone is going to want the free stuff you’re offering. That doesn’t make them bad people, or feminism a bad movement.
So if a female biologist who wrote a PHD thesis on the origins of RNA overheard some men talking about the origins of life and when the women wants to chime in because she is a subject matter expert, the men tell her they “don’t need a black woman’s explanation”. And after being told this she is in the wrong for venting online? Please. Your just as sexist as the people you claim to be opposed to.
You cannot in good faith compare people who have suffered because if their skin color to those who have not, when talking about situations where skin color comes up.
Are both situations racist by pure definition? Sure. Just like punching a man and punching a child are both punching. One is much more wrong.
Fuck all that noise…
One racially motivated act (say hitting someone because of their skin color) is not any more or less racist depending on the race of the victim. If you believe that, it is by definition a racist value you’re holding.
There’s a difference when it comes to contextual, social and historical factors. Like the word cracker is insensitive but doesn’t carry the hateful connotations and discrimination that the N-word possesses.
But anyone trying to say it’s more or less appropriate to hate on any single group is just demonstrating their own implicit and explicit racial biases.
As a brown person. It doesn’t matter what color you are. Someone’s race shouldn’t matter at all when comparing how fucked up something is unless it’s directly culturally relevant.
A white guy vs black woman RNA paper writing PhD being told gtfo is equally offensive. Race only matter like if you told the white guy vs black woman something like a joke about picking cotton or the white guy a joke about him fucking his sister.
Telling someone “you don’t matter / you are the enemy” for over a decade and to millions of people is how an actual white nationalist movement became a thing. You can only tell people how horrible and evil they are until they start to believe in it.
It’s not anti-feminist to laugh at the irony of saying no to the MIB writer clarifying the origins of the story. It’s just a goofy story lol.
And if he wrote it to be a goofy story, then I’m with you. I don’t know his intent.
I was just saying that bc it seemed too cynical when you said we didn’t need to hear about it at all. I guess I don’t 100% know his intent either but there hasn’t been any reason to doubt it so far.
It’s a funny anecdote from the creator of Men in Black about being shut down for mansplaining the origins of Men in Black. Yikes.
Yup, and it’s fine, until the guy above me starts to comment on their choice of words.
It can either be a funny note where we all laugh, or it can be an analysis of people’s word choice and reaction. When it’s the latter, his whining will be met by my whining, until all the whining stops :-P
“No Mansplaining” sounds more like an excuse to avoid a conversation you feel insecure about
If you’re talking about the post title, I was being sarcastic.
Ed was sat next to two redditors it seems.
Rude.
Yeah, pretty much the same as men back in the days telling a woman to shut up because she’s just a woman. Now it’s white males who are told to shut up because they’re just white males. Same shit, different target.
It sometimes feels like feminism and emancipation is not about freeing women, but to take vengeance for centuries of oppression on the white men who live today, regardless of whether they fit the pattern or not. It hurts to see that society does not seem to have learned from its mistakes. We’re making them again. This time only in the opposite direction.
Oh ffs stop playing the victim.
So when A oppresses B for 100 years and B is the victim, and suddenly B oppresses A for the same fucking reasons, A is not a victim too??? How’s that fair? How’s that equality? That’s not equality, that’s revenge.
Man I can’t stand this kind of take like white men are suddenly getting oppressed. The systemic oppression hasn’t suddenly pulled a sick 180; that’s not how this works. Some people are being rude, it’s true, but white men aren’t suddenly being targeted all over. It might look that way if you pick up several social circles who laser focus on perceived slights. Looking on from a position of privilege, seeing those privileges get chipped away looks scary and might make you feel personally targeted. Ultimately though, being on level ground is going to be a different environment.
Just don’t explain anything and you don’t have to worry. At work only interact with your own gender and never be alone with the opposite. Better to be safe than sorry.
Don’t ever, for any reason, do anything for anyone, for any reason, ever, no matter what. No matter where. Or who, or who you are with, or where you are going or… or where you’ve been… ever. For any reason, whatsoever.
Wow. That sucks.
Seems like we white males are going to have a tough time, regardless of whether we’re actually quite nice, fun and okay-ish, average dudes or the Next Big Predator Trump type asshole. The fact alone that we’re white and male is obviously enough to be judged and disrespected.
Maybe, but I’m certain we’re privileged enough that we can take it and will be just fine.
Until we’re not anymore.
I thought feminism was about equality.
Until we’re not anymore.
Can’t wait. I can acknowledge that I’ve lived my life with privilege, while still speaking against the system that gave it to me. I didn’t ask for it.
Question is, privileged compared to whom? Of course I do not want to be privileged compared to women, persons of color, whatever other part of society that I currently might be privileged compared to because I am a white man. But that should not mean that I have to hand my privileges over so they become privileged compared to me. We should all have the same level. That’s what I thought feminism was about. If it is not about ironing out these privileges and leveling the differences, but instead to hand them over and turn the tables, I have the fucking right to feel like a victim.
Wow, way to read into what I said! My point was that you enjoyed that privilege, for your whole life, whether you liked it or not, and that puts you in a better position to handle any shit you might take for it now. Better off than someone might be who didn’t have the advantage of enjoying that privilege. That’s not saying you have to surrender that privilege or that somebody else is gonna come and take it, it just acknowledges that it’s a thing and you benefited from it. All that stuff about taking away your privilege came from you, and tbh it’s a little bit strange of a focus when I was simply acknowledging that it existed and that I benefited from mine. I’d give it up in a second if I could, honestly, because it’s not something I earned.
